I never want to see another naked old woman again.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
