the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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