Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I don't deserve a penis
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
