i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
