my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
