All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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