Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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