great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
