How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
