"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
