I never want to see another naked old woman again.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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