ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
