Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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