is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
