Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
