needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
