My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
