my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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