Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
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You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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