I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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