i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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