she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
