She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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