whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
