how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
