he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
