there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
