we have officially mastered the walk of shame
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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