Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
