What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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