my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i just had sex bonerless
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with two different species that night
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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