party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
