Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
