You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
