I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
