yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
