he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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