i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize