My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
