I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i out mim tonsoeep
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