I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
