I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
