Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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