Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize