why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
