Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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