I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
