there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
