please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize