IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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