Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
