how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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