Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Who did Billy Mays play for?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
