just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
