I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
