me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
