the only muscles i have these days is kegels
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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