so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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