I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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