At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
