Only a mothe r could love this liver
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
