Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
